


Save Him

by mythicalbi



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Episode: s01e05 The Lilies, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 10:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8575021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythicalbi/pseuds/mythicalbi
Summary: After Philip blurred out the words, betrayed Lukas in a moment of weakness, Helen drove them to the lake. The gun wasn't there anymore.





	

The gun wasn’t there anymore; Lukas must have gotten it out. Philip sat in the backseat, silent, as Helen drove them back home. She didn’t say anything but Philip could tell she was frustrated, possibly angry and annoyed with him.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” She said and Philip nodded, finding nothing to say. The got out of the car where Gabe was waiting for them. Philip passed him without meeting his eye.

As he climbed the stairs he heard Helen’s and Gabe’s indistinct voices. He shut the door to his room and leaned back against it. He let his eyes slip shut and allowed himself a moment to breathe. He felt too emotionally strung, the whole ordeal with Lukas and then his mom, it was all too much.

He thought about texting Lukas and letting him know what he did, preparing him for tomorrow’s interrogation. He then thought about Lukas’ panicked looks, his trembling hands and wild, wide eyes. He thought of Lukas pushing him away and running off. There was no way to help him, Philip tried, now all he had left was telling someone else and hoping they can get him the help he needs. Helen seemed like the right person to tell, she could be understanding but tough and strong-willed at the same time. There was no doubt she could get through to Lukas.

And if Lukas wanted nothing to do with him after tomorrow, well. Philip would deal with that later. For now, he curled into a ball in his bed under a heavy blanket and let his consciousness drift away from him.

***

Lukas wasn’t at school the next morning, Helen picked him up in the morning and their ‘talk’ lasted over an hour. Philip texted him before leaving for school telling him that Helen was coming over to talk. He didn’t specify anything and Lukas didn’t ask for details. He didn’t even text him back. Philip wondered if he even got the message.

When Lukas arrived at school it was during the second period, according to two girls talking behind him during lunch. Philip hasn’t seen Lukas yet and he searched the cafeteria for the familiar head of bleach-blond hair. He knew Lukas wouldn’t talk to him no matter how curious Philip was but maybe he could read the look on Lukas’ face and figure out the rest from Helen later.

He noticed Rose first. She laughed loudly as she entered the cafeteria, her hand entwined with Lukas’ as she spoke with their group of friends. Lukas kept his head down, Philip tried to will him into looking up but he only succeeded in getting dirty looks from Rose and her friend, Milly or Molly, or whatever her name was.

He sent Lukas another text, a simple ‘I’m sorry’. He knew it wasn’t enough, that Lukas was probably pissed beyond imagination, but it had to do for now.

Philip saw Lukas frowning slightly and reaching into his pocket. He stared down at the phone and his face hardened. He shoved it back into his pocket. Philip swallowed nervously and slipped out of the cafeteria.

He sat outside, basking in the sun while he still could. Fall was all around them, slowly creeping into the leaves and the chilly air. The musky smell of wet grass and dying flowers flew into his nostrils and Philip smiled, enjoying something other than the smell of fast food and gasoline he was so used to in the city. It was nice here, he decided. He looked up at the sky as birds flew overhead and enjoyed the fresh air.

A lot of students seemed to have had the same idea, as minutes passed more and more of them gathered outside. Philip didn’t exactly mind, their chatter was good enough for background noise as he mused over the events of the last few days.

He worried about his mom even though seeing her off to the rehab centre gave a seed to a small hope now growing steadily in his chest. He wanted her to get better more than anything, she’s always been his whole life. Philip remembered all the times she tried to quit before and how hard her failure hit them both, he didn’t want her to fail again. Not when it could crush her with weight that’s more than she could handle.

A now-familiar voice sounded somewhere away from him and Philip looked for its source; Rose, Lukas, and the girl whose name definitely started with an M stood in a circle under the trees several feet from him. They were talking but Philip couldn’t actually make out any words. Both girls looked relaxed and happy, Lukas looked anything but. He was tense, his hands were shoved into his pockets and his stance looked like he was ready to run if anyone even looked at him wrong. He kept worrying his lower lip and his eyes jumped from Rose to everyone around them and even to the slightest source of a noise, like a bird flying by or a tree dancing in the wind. Philip wanted to come over and comfort him, tell him that telling Helen was the right thing to do. He wanted to lean into him and put his arms around him, to have Lukas hug him back and burrow his face into Philip’s neck.

Be that as it may, what Philip wanted to do,more than anything right now, was to move closer and hear what they were saying. He tried to be sneaky about it, making his way slowly and staring at the ground to avoid looking suspicious. He wanted to come across as just another student, wandering the school’s garden mindlessly. He stopped when he could hear each word Rose was muttering.

Philip, to appear natural and inconspicuous, leaned against the stone half fence, crossed his arms and looked out into the world with a bored expression.

“I just don’t understand what she meant,” Rose said with a feeble whine in her voice. “And then she totally contradicted herself the next day? I don’t know what to think.”

“Maybe you need to sit down and talk it out? See what’s what?” Responded the other girl. Lukas watched on without seeming to pay any attention.

“Yeah, I shou – oh shit.”

“What?”

“Fuck. Okay, guys don’t look right now but Lukas’ stalker is back.”

Philip paled and quickly got his phone out to appear uninterested in them.

“What?” That was Lukas, his voice raspy from the lack of use.

Rose sighed, annoyed and frustrated. “Look behind you,” she mumbled quietly.

What followed was several tense moments of silence. Philip resisted the urge to look up, he stared at his phone and tried to calm down his crazy beating heart.

“You should say something,” Rose’s voice carried in the wind no matter how quiet she was trying to be.

“Philip.”

Philip looked up, drawn in by Lukas’ voice. He didn’t expect to be greeted with a look of hatred and disgust on Lukas’ face.

“Stop stalking me!”

Philip felt himself freeze. He couldn’t decipher Lukas, was he saying that to keep up his ‘straight’ appearance or was he really that angry with him? Philip didn’t know how to respond, didn’t even know whether he was supposed to.

“Come on guys, let’s get away from him,” said Molly or Milly as she lead them away, all the while sending Philip dirty looks. They walked away quickly, Lukas grabbed Rose’s hand and pulled her away. He didn’t look back.

***

Philip waited anxiously for Helen to come back. He was sitting on the porch with Gabe, counting down the minutes until Helen’s arrival. Gabe didn’t know anything, Philip already asked him, so he kept him company and tried to calm down his nerves.

When she finally pulled up Philip wasted no time, he shot up and ran up to her giving her no time to get out of the car before bombarding her with his questions.

“How did it go? Did he tell you what happened?”

Helen sighed, she slammed the door of her car and shared a look with Gabe who followed Philip closely. “Lukas denied everything. He said you made it up.”

“You don’t believe him though, right?” 

“I don’t know what to believe, Philip.” She run a hand through her hair and leaned against the car. Gabe put his arm around her.

“Did he look like he was lying?” He asked, his voice as calm as ever.

“That’s the thing, I have no idea. He was nervous but I don’t know how much that had to do with being interrogated for an hour and…” She sighed again. “I just don’t know.”

“He’s lying.” Philip was tense but managed to speak at a normal volume. Shouting wouldn’t solve anything, he knew that.

“Maybe,” Helen straightened up and started walking toward the house. “But maybe not.”

Philip kept telling himself to breathe and relax but his body didn’t listen. He let out a bitter laugh and balled his hands into fists. Gabe now put his arm around _him_.

“Helen isn’t saying you lied to us, son. We believe that Lukas told you what you told us, now we’re simply doubting whether what he told you was true.”

“I know,” Philip gritted out through his clenched teeth. “I know what he told me is true. He’s lying to _you_ , Helen.”

“How can you be so sure?” Helen asked and the light tone of her voice was starting to drive Philip crazy. “It’s not like you two are friends.”

Philip didn’t have anything to say to that. To Helen and Gabe, they weren’t friends. And maybe they really weren’t; Philip didn’t know what they were, he just knew friends were not supposed to make you feel so much. Pain and happiness all blurred together into a bittersweet cloud following you wherever you went. Philip had friends before and they were never like Lukas, with so much intensity and confusion, so much desire and need pulling at his every nerve. 

But if Lukas wasn’t a friend, then what was he?

Philip didn’t want to dwell on that right now, he had more important things going on. Like Helen not believing him and the murderer going free for yet another day and Lukas being a stubborn idiot refusing to do what’s right.

Gabe, the only voice of reason in this household, tried to defuse the practically visible tension. “Helen, maybe you could speak to him again? See if his story upholds?”

Helen paused, she shot a quick glance at the both of them, her hand on the front door. “Sure,” she pushed the door and disappeared inside. Gabe rubbed Philip’s back before following after her.

Philip stayed outside in the chilly, evening wind until he was called in for dinner. He refused to meet anyone’s eyes and ate barely anything, not tasting the food at all.

Afterwards he went straight to bed even though he knew he wouldn’t sleep, Philip checked his phone and saw a message from Lukas that read, ‘fuck off’. He put the phone away and curled into himself. If Lukas wanted him to fuck off, he would. He didn’t need him, didn’t need all the drama Lukas brought into his life, all the lies and problems. And the fact that Philip started to develop feelings for him, started craving his attention in whatever form he could get it, enjoyed his company no matter what they were doing, that didn’t matter. Philip could easily find someone else to hang out with. Maybe not in Tivoli since everyone here avoided him, but somewhere else, maybe in the city when his mom gets better and they can go back to their life. 

He obviously wouldn’t stay here; Gabe and Helen were nice but they weren't his family. This was not his life, it was nice and peaceful and warm, and Philip was used to none of those things. He was used to noise and packed streets and never seeing the same face when passing a familiar shop.

The next morning Philip rode his bike to school, not caring about the rain beating down on him. Helen offered to drive him to school, Philip refused. Lukas was, once again, absent from the first period. Rose and her friend roamed the school halls alone, talking in hushed whispers and pointing at him every once in a while.

Lukas didn’t come back to school at all that day. He wasn’t there at lunch no matter how long and hard Philip searched for him. Philip wanted to text him, to find out what happened but he knew better now. Lukas definitely wouldn’t respond, the only person who could tell him what happened was Helen so he told himself to be patient while his leg bounced up and down, uncontrollably.

It still rained when he drove his bike back to his house. The house at which he was staying at, Helen and Gabe’s house. Not his. Philip pulled on his hood and kept his eyes down on the road. Mud sprayed as he whizzed past not paying much attention to his surroundings. His jeans and hoodie were already soaked as he was barely halfway through, Philip didn’t mind though, it gave him an excuse to have a long, warm shower when he would finally get to the house.

Helen was already waiting for him on the porch when he parked his bike. She sat with her legs crossed and an unhappy expression on her face.

“Wanna know how it went with Lukas today?” The question seemed to be rhetorical but Philip nodded nonetheless.

“Yeah?” His voice sounded unsure and his heart beat wildly in his chest.

“His story checked out. Bo was there with him, backing him up every step of the way. Now I look like an evil witch, obsessed with making Lukas’ life a living hell.”

Philip swallowed, a shiver ran down his spine as his wet body stood firmly against the cold wind.

“I invited them for dinner this weekend to apologize.”

“What?”

“You’re going to apologize as well, Philip.” Her voice left no argument. She stood up and went inside without waiting for him. Philip felt like crying and screaming at the same time.

He hated Lukas.

***

With the day of the dinner came warm sun and a pleasant day. The sky was clear and the wind a barely-there breeze sweeping past. The air was fresh and crisp, washed out by a couple of days filled with heavy raining.

Philip woke up early, or more accurately, didn't sleep at all. He stared out of the window of his room into the slowly waking world. Helen and Gabe would be getting up soon but Philip didn’t want to face them just yet. He made himself a cup of coffee and sat on the porch with a thin blanket around himself. His tired body inhaled the rich smell of coffee, he sipped his drink as the sun warmed the ground below and birds flew past singing a good morning song.

Philip wished he could stay in this moment forever. The quiet, peaceful morning, uninterrupted by the problems and struggles that surely awaited him later on. He didn’t want to face Lukas. Not after all those days of silence where he would avoid Philip’s gaze and walk past him as if he meant nothing. He also didn’t want to face Bo who had a problem with him right from the very start. Having those two together, sitting at the table with him and demanding apologies was the last thing Philip needed.

The door creaked opened and Gabe poked his head outside. 

“Good morning, Philip. You’re up early.”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, “morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

Philip shrugged. Gabe stood at the door for a few more seconds, waiting for Philip to say something but when it became clear he wouldn’t, he went back inside and shut the door after him. Philip felt himself relax, he hadn’t noticed himself going tense as soon as Gabe started talking but that must have been the case. His quiet moment slipped away from him and Philip was left with nothing.

It took Helen two tries to get him to eat breakfast, at first Philip insisted he wasn’t hungry but when Helen threatened to cook for a whole week if he didn’t get some breakfast right now, Philip practically ran inside.

The day flew by faster than Philip would have liked, all too soon Helen, Gabe, and him where all setting the table outside and awaiting the Waldenbecks. Philip felt his hands start to tremble, he tried to ignore it and stuffed them into his pockets. Helen and Gabe were chatting happily with each other, enjoying the nice day and the mouth-watering smell of Gabe’s cooking.

Bo’s truck parked in the driveway. Philip’s eyes were glued to Lukas, his careful steps and bowed head, his hair flowing freely in the wind, following his dad’s steps and ignoring Philip just as he had for almost a week prior. Gabe greeted them with a wide smile and claps on the back. Philip remained seated, no one greeted him so he saw no reason to go out of his way being polite either. Lukas sat opposite him, only because he refused to lift his head up and didn’t notice where Philip was sitting.

When the food had been piled onto everyone’s plates, an uncomfortable silence fell upon them. Bo, Helen, and Gabe all busied themselves with eating. Philip and Lukas only stared down at their plates, at first Lukas played with his food but he soon grew bored of that and decided on sitting limply by his father.

Bo looked around them and cleared his throat, demanding everyone’s attention. “We should cut the small talk and go straight into why we’re here.”

“Yes, sure.” Helen nodded but her tone was clipped which Philip learned to mean she wasn’t happy.

“First of all, I would like to remind you that I demanded Philip stay away from my boy which you two obviously ignored.”

“What?” Philip’s and Lukas’ head both snapped up and their eyes danced between Bo and Helen.

“Well, I – ” Helen started.

“I’m not finished. I was worried about him getting my Lukas intro trouble like drugs but I never suspected _this_ to happen. The bad influence I could understand, coming from a junkie mother and being exposed to God only knows how much shit. But accusing Lukas of… of what exactly? Withholding information, lying to me and everyone else? Being some kind of a coward? No. That’s not my Lukas. And I will not stand for him-" he pointed a finger at Philip, "-spreading lies about my boy.

“Which is why I already called the child services about Philip.”

“What?”

“What?”

“ _What?_ ” Lukas’ voice was a shrill, piercing through Philip’s frozen state of shock.

He remained quiet. Nothing he could say would change anything. Figures getting involved with Lukas would somehow ruin his life, Philip should have known better.

Helen got up and Gabe’s hand shot out to keep a hold of her.

“You can’t do that, Bo.”

“I already did.” Bo said, sounding smug.

Philip clenched his jaw and looked down at his shaking hands. He had no idea what was happening around him but a small part of him didn’t care either way. Most things were out of his control, Bo, child services, Lukas, his mom’s addiction. It was all beyond him. Philip never should have tried to help, tried to have a normal life for once.

“Dad, no. You can’t do that.” Lukas sounded desperate. Philip risked a glance and saw him clutching at Bo, his eyes wide and terrified, which made no sense to Philip. With him gone there would be no one pressuring him to tell, no one to bring about the gay rumours, no one to ruin his image. Lukas should be happy, not scared.

“It’s already done, son.”

“You can always call them back,” Helen spoke up.

“Bo, we should talk about this. Let’s not make any rush decisions.” Gabe was using his exceptionally calm voice, Philip wished he wouldn’t.

“There’s nothing to talk about. That boy is toxic, poisoning everything around him, I won’t have him anywhere near my son!”

“Do not talk about Philip like that!” Helen loomed over the table and Philip saw the sheriff slowly take over her persona. Gone was the friendly warmth, the pleasant neighbour. Helen was now a cop, taking no shit and demanding respect everywhere she went.

Philip would miss her, he realised suddenly. They weren’t close but Helen was beginning to play an important role in his life. She was a complete opposite from his mom. Where Helen was strong his mom was weak, where Helen was cold and distant his mom was warm and familiar. Where Helen was powerful his mom crumbled under the pressure.

Bo wasn’t threatened, he stood up as well which brought Gabe to join Helen at her side and his eyes trained carefully on Bo. Helen took no notice of him. She was glaring at the man in front of her, waiting for him to say one more word.

Lukas pulled at his father’s arm but Bo shook him off.

“I’ll talk about him however I like. Especially since I’m right, I will not have this lying scum – ”

“He’s not lying!” Lukas screamed and everyone fell silent.

Philip’s eyes were only on him, his heart beating wildly and his breaths coming in short, irregular pants. Lukas wasn’t looking at anyone, he focused on the table in front of him and on his hands balled into fists resting next to his untouched plate.

“What did you say?” Helen asked and she sat back down, slowly.

“What are you talking about, son?” Bo’s voice was harsh, he seemed angry at his son for interrupting him, barely even listening to him.

“Philip wasn’t lying. I saw everything.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you lie, Lukas?!” Helen raised her voice, Gabe rested his hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

“Why did you lie, Lukas?” Bo demanded, his voice unforgiving. All of a sudden Philip understood Lukas’ fear of him. Bo didn’t look like the sort of person who would forgive you for a simple mistake, at least not easily.

“Because…” He trailed off and for the first time in what felt like forever he looked up and met Philip’s eyes.

Philip’s breath caught in his throat, Lukas looked so tiny and vulnerable, so scared and sad. Philip wanted nothing more than to take him away from everyone, especially Bo.

“I was there too.” Philip said, his voice barely more than a whisper. Lukas kept looking at him with a raw desperation that was enough to tear down any wall Philip might have built around himself.

“Why were you there?” Bo asked, just as Helen spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I asked him not to,” said Lukas.

“And why not?”

Lukas opened his mouth but no sound came. He looked away and down into his lap. Philip didn’t know what to do or say. Did Lukas want him to tell? Were they supposed to avoid the complete truth and go with a half lie? Unsure, he stayed quiet and waited, as did everyone else.

“Why not, Lukas?!” Bo growled and shook his son's shoulder.

“Because we were, Philip and I, we… We kissed.” The world came to a sudden stop. “We were kissing and then those guys came in and I-I didn’t wanna say anything. Because I knew what you’d say and I can’t, I didn’t want to… I’m sorry, it was my fault, I didn’t wanna say, I couldn’t.” Lukas’ breath hitched and he bit his lower lip.

Philip acted before his brain had a chance to work out whether what he was doing was the right thing to do; he stood up and went to kneel in front of Lukas. He grabbed his hands and held them in his own, Lukas tensed at the contact but he didn’t push him away. Instead, it was Bo that did.

“Get away from him!”

“Don't you dare touch Philip.” Helen was next to him in an instant and placed herself between Bo and Philip. Lukas sat in between them but looked as if he wasn’t even there, his eyes were unfocused and he kept himself oddly still.

Gabe helped Philip up and placed his hand on Lukas’ shoulder. He was murmuring some comforting words that Philip couldn’t make out. He was too focused on Helen and Bo having an intense stare off as they both awaited the other’s next move.

“Philip, why don’t you and Lukas go inside while we talk?” Gabe suggested.

“He’s not going anywhere near him.” Bo grabbed Lukas and kept a tight hold on him. Lukas winced but said nothing.

“Bo, we should talk. Come on, they’re not gonna do anything. We all need to calm down now.”

“Let go of him,” Helen spoke in a creepily even voice, clearly underlined with anger.

“Come on, Bo. Let’s sit down.” Gabe guided him to his seat. As soon as he let go of Lukas, Philip grabbed his hand and pulled him away, towards the house.

He didn’t look back, ignored the angry yells, and gripped Lukas tighter. They didn’t run but got to the house in an incredibly short time. Philip slammed the door shut after them and guided Lukas to the sofa on which he collapsed.

Philip took the seat next to him; their hands were still intertwined together and Philip rubbed comforting circles into Lukas’ skin.

 “You… you just came out to your dad.” The awe in his voice was impossible to get rid of and as much as Philip hated this entire situation, how Lukas was forced to come out, and especially how Bo reacted, he still couldn’t stop the small smile from forming on his lips.

“Yeah.” Lukas sounded breathless. “And look where that got me.”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay now. You told them, it’s gonna be fine. We’re safe now. It’s okay.” Philip rested one of his hands on the side of Lukas’ face and brought them closer. He rested his forehead on Lukas’ and breathed out deeply.

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered into the space between them. He heard the catch in Lukas’ breath, felt the tremble and shivers going through his body. Then, he felt the slowed down breathing ghosting over Philip's mouth. He closed his eyes and breathed with Lukas, trying to calm them both down.

“I’m sorry.” Lukas said. His voice was strained, Philip guessed from holding back the tears.

“Okay.” He said and brushed their noses together.

Lukas leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against his. Philip felt the wetness on his cheeks, the flutter of his eyelashes, and the unsure pressure on his mouth. He kissed back, just as gently, offering Lukas his heart in one simple kiss.

The broke apart and Lukas swayed away. He leaned back on the couch with his eyes still closed. Philip moved closer and rested his head on Lukas’ chest. He felt fingers slowly creeping into his hair and Philip smiled again.

They weren’t okay, nothing was okay at the moment. But they’d get there. Philip didn’t know what would happen with Bo, how he’d react and what he’d do, but he did know he would be right by Lukas’ side no matter what.

Fuck child services, fuck anyone who tries to tell him otherwise, Philip was staying here for as long as he wanted to and he was not leaving Lukas to deal with this alone. They were going to be okay, eventually. They had to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know if you enjoyed it or if you have any feedback at all.
> 
> Edit: the nameless girl's name which definitely began with an M was actually Sam... Philip done goofed up...
> 
> Hang out with me on tumblr @ mythicalbi.tumblr.com


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